Mr. Mascot vs. Jason. Battle of NFL Uniform Rankings

A head-on-head weekly editorial sports debate

July 11, 2018 - 1:56 pm
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Mr. Mascot is an unknown individual who works at WFNZ and Jason is a member of WFNZ's digital department. The two have a heated rivalry.

In the spirit of “List Season” and that fact that football is still far away, let’s talk about a hard-hitting subject. The Top 5 and Bottom 5 NFL uniforms going into to the 2018 season! Gripping stuff that gets even the most casual of fans fired up! Why? “Because those are my colors, man!” Now, we are talking strictly about the 2018 regular home/away uniforms. Throwbacks, Color Rush, alternatives and other varying unis are NOT on the table. By the way, if we were talking about straight boring, the Raiders and Cowboys would have been battling for #1, but that’s not the case today. 

Top 5 Best NFL Uniforms 

#5. Mr. Mascot: Denver Broncos- There is a good chance that the next time this organization makes sweeping coaching and front office changes the uniforms will get a facelift. They have been playing in the same gear since the Elway years. But, it is a classic. Big fan of the full uniform stripe and the charging Bronco on the helmet. Sadly, these bad boys will be retired in the next few years. 

© Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

      Jason: Minnesota Vikings- Another “vibrant” color and I love it. Purple is just so unique and the Vikings made it look good after changing in 2012 to a darker purple with matte helmets. I love the matte helmets. The majority of the uniform is purple and it doesn’t have that yellow collar anymore which was very ugly. 

© Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

#4. Mr. Mascot: San Francisco 49ers- Their jerseys stick out in a crowd. Even the most feeble of football fans can spot their scarlet and gold scheme from a distance. And they have kept their helmet logo the same (practically) since 1963. In short, their uniform has been able to evolve with the times and no matter the manufacturers of the jersey they still look hip. Hip? Do the kids say hip anymore? 

© Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

 

     Jason: New Orleans Saints- I’ve always loved the Saints uniform. The dark gold with the black just looks like royalty. The black shows more than the gold which is perfect and the gold brings out a chain like look. The road uniforms are white and gold to make up one of the best uniforms in the NFL. A big plus is that the Saints can alternate between the gold, white and black in any way they want and it will still match. 

© Stephen Lew-USA TODAY Sports

#3. Mr. Mascot: Los Angeles Rams- Yes, they are famous for having mismatched helmets and uniforms in the past but, on average they look solid. Huge fan of the Ram spiral on the helmet. Another classic that has been able to keep up with the times. The Eagles have the wings, which I think look odd. And the Vikings have horns… so if they were playing in NFL Europe in 1999 they’d be fine.  

© Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

     Jason: Los Angeles Chargers- Los Angeles better be thankful they never switched to that weird logo when they were moving to LA. The logo looked like a mix of the Dodgers and Tampa Bay Lightning. They received the message and continue to have one of the best uniforms. That gorgeous powder blue uniform and lightning bolts on the sides of their uniforms make it a great uniform to wear. I know the powder blue is an alternate, but they still have a great combination of the yellow bolts and a navy blue that all matches with their iconic helmets. 

© Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

#2. Mr. Mascot: Seattle Seahawks- The obvious choice for number one. They look sleek, modern and ‘of the times.’ Minus that ONE time they looked like giant key limes against the Cards on Thursday Night Football.  Their uniforms are a great example of why Nike is a billion dollar company. BUT, Nike isn’t always on the money… looking at you Jaguars two-toned helmet.

     Jason: Miami Dolphins- You may be able to notice the trend that I like vibrant colors. Miami recently brought back a modern look in 2012. They had never changed their jerseys really until then. Miami changed their color from more of a nasty green color to a light green aqua. The white helmet with the updated Dolphin logo matches perfectly and the orange is a great blend with the light aqua. It may seem like a non-threatening color once in a while, but it’s Miami, things are supposed to be fun.

© Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

#1. Mr. Mascot:  Los Angeles Chargers- I still want to write San Diego Chargers. I know we are not factoring in throwbacks (because they would be #1 there too) but, they have a lot of components that look great without making them look like a thrown together bed. The bolt is cool and iconic. The lightning on the pants is a fun change up from piping or stripes. The only way they could be better is if the Chargers broke .500 for the first time this century. 

     Jason: Seattle Seahawks- Sorry, Mr. Mascot, but this is my number one, not number two. Since the NFL switched to Nike in 2012, the Seahawks have taken the #1 spot for me. The lime green on the shoulder pads looks beautiful to me. I’m someone who likes vibrant colors. The dark shade of navy blue, action green and wolf grey just blend together perfectly. Their helmets are one of the best. It used to be a lighter blue, but the new navy blue makes it fit perfectly with any jersey combination. 

© Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Top 5 Worst NFL Uniforms 

#5. Mr. Mascot: Arizona Cardinals- They look like a generic football team that would be in a men’s dandruff shampoo ad, “We play defense on your scalp, so you can play offense at your best.” The ad ends with the ‘team in red’ tackling some poor dude in a dandruff costume. Then the guy that doesn’t have dandruff anymore gets a number from some female that is out of his league and the voice over guy goes “And he scores!” You’re welcome Head & Shoulders. I’ll be looking for my check in the mail. 

© Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

      Jason: Los Angeles Rams- Mr. Mascot is completely insane for having this team in his top five. This team can’t even figure out what uniform combo to wear. There’s blue and white, gold and white, yellow and white, yellow and navy and the list goes on. But a majority of the time it either doesn’t match or just looks bad. The yellow uniforms and helmets were gross. It looked like mustard. Now they have white helmets. They keep trying to find a good combo and the league won’t allow certain ones. It’s basically just a mess. 

#4. Mr. Mascot: Tampa Bay Buccaneers- If you had a digital alarm clock growing up then you may like the Bucs’ new uniforms. The numbers are goofy, the piping is random and oh yeah, the skull on the pirate flag looks a little meaner. They are clunky and the opposite of the Seahawks new look. This team should stick with their Super Bowl year uniforms or just throw it back to 1976 and go straight creamsicle. 

© Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

     Jason: Arizona Cardinals- Red and white. A LOT of red. Too much red. It’s not interesting and has no real meaning to it aside from cardinals being red. I agree with Mr. Mascot because it is way too generic. The logo isn’t even creative and it’s on a white platform. Whoever made these didn’t even try! 

#3. Mr. Mascot: Carolina Panthers- Have you ever gone into a Walmart or Big Lots and seen weird off-brand football jerseys? I’m sure you have. They usually are like #99 or #00. If you haven’t, you should look for them the next time you’re buying ham, underwear, and batteries all in the same place. The Panthers look ‘off brand.’ It’s like 1998 is here to stay and play in Charlotte. Maybe the new owner will change it up? The logo is good, but that’s where it ends. 

© Stephen Lew-USA TODAY Sports

     Jason: Indianapolis Colts- Mr. Mascot is way too harsh on the Panthers. The Colts deserve to be there. It’s blue and white. Not that special. The logo is just a horseshoe. The uniforms just oddly look like a team that loses a lot. White-on-white doesn’t always work. The uniform just very bland. Not as boring as the Browns, but it just looks like a basic football uniform.   

© Thomas J. Russo-USA TODAY Sports

#2. Mr. Mascot: Cleveland Browns- Another team that you KNOW has to be in the bottom three. Who the f&% said “Yeah! Brown, white and orange are what the fans want!” They remind me of the two worst flavors of Tootsie Pops, Orange and Chocolate. By the way, if the chocolate is your favorite flavor you may be a serial killer. What amplifies makes these dumpster fire jerseys worse is the Browns record, since they came back into the league in 99’ they’re 88-216! AND they have easily started 500-700 different quarterbacks in that time frame. 

© Philip G. Pavely-USA TODAY Sports

     Jason: Cleveland Browns- The Browns aren’t good at anything. Their city is sad, their name is sad, their team is sad and even their uniforms are sad. The Browns are supposed to represent a dog. But their uniforms are orange and brown and white. A horrible combination. Not only is it hard to look at, but it’s just BORING. There is nothing special about it. Once again, the Browns have failed. 

#1. Mr. Mascot:  Tennessee Titans- They unveiled their new gear to their ‘fan base’ (is it really a fan base if they only have 107 fans?) and it is rough to look at. They look like *winds up for his analogy* if you slammed an AFL Team and a CFL team together and then forgot to turn up the brightness on your screen * aaand he hits it out of the park!* Another example of how new or different isn’t always the best option. Oh! They also look like a team you would create in Madden 2001 and you could never quite get the logo or coloring right on that N64. 

© Andrew Nelles-USA TODAY Sports

     Jason: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Mr. Mascot is not happy I have these at number one. He just hates the Titans uniforms. The red, the brown, the text. It is all just bad and hard to look. It looks like it was designed on Microsoft word and the colors don’t match at all. Yes, red is a great color, but brown? I know they represent pirates, but black or even white would be so much better. Since changing the color and font in 2013, they have taken a big step back. The creamsicle uniforms that look like the Tennessee Volunteers were the best back in the 70s to 90s. (Of course, I’m too young to have actually seen them play in those.) 
 

Follow Mr. Mascot on Twitter @MascotMr and Jason @_JasonHuber


  

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